“Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from both sides.”

Margaret Thatcher

Decisive action is critical to creating brilliant success. In time of great change, opportunity and creativity, one of the biggest blocks to building momentum and impact is indecision.

Just ask yourself the following questions:

Are you sitting on the fence in terms of decisions you know you need to make?

Does cutting off options feel uncomfortable for you?

Do you like to hedge your bets and keep your options open, just in case your Plan A doesn’t work out?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, don’t worry. You’re not alone!

Let this be the year that you take a stand for yourself and your brilliance. Jump down off the fence of indecision and make a choice. Otherwise you risk getting caught up in a swirl of overwhelm, procrastination and not creating the results and impact you are meant to deliver.

Tip #1 – Decide When You Will Decide

How many times have you told yourself, “I’m not sure now so I’ll decide later.” But then you find yourself constantly thinking about the choice you need to make for days and weeks.

When you finally do make a decision one way or the other, it can feel like more like the victory of getting all the gum off the bottom of your shoe, rather than an empowering choice to create your future.

To keep yourself on track, set a specific date when you will sit down and make a decision. Put it on your calendar. This simple act alone will save you lots of splinters from sitting on the fence forever!

Tip #2 – Get The Big Picture

One reason people stay frozen in indecision is fear. There’s fear of change or that things won’t work out the way you hope. There’s fear your life will be different and your choices put you at risk of losing the approval or love of some people who are currently in your life. We zero in right on the fear and forget to look up for the big picture.

It is true that making a decision does change things. That is pretty much the point! We all need to make regular course corrections along the way to steer the ship of our lives in the direction we really want to go.

So isn’t it more scary to be stuck in this same issue a year from now, or 5 years from now? Think of how much energy, focus and time it is costing you to stay there. When you find yourself on the fence, get stop, get perspective and remember the big picture.

Tip #3 – Create Some No’s to Make Space for the Brilliant Yes

Have you ever been to an “all you can eat” restaurant? You get excited by all the choices, and so you start to pile all the food on your plate. What happens when you sit down to eat? You have to carefully pick your way through your meal to avoid it spilling all over the table.

Life is like that fabulous buffet table. Anything we want is possible, but we need to realize we only have so much energy and focus. We need to say “No” in order make space for the brilliant “Yes” to come in.

If you’re making a decision and catch yourself rationalizing why you give it the green light, stop. Step away from the buffet table. If you have to talk yourself into a “Yes” chances are high that the decision you’re about to make isn’t in alignment with your highest purpose. We need to say a lot of “No’s” so we can gracefully and clearly feel our “Yes!” when the purposeful, soul-fulfilling choices come our way.

If you prefer to listen to the audio version of this week’s article instead, just click here:

“Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude.”

Ralph Marston

A big challenge a lot of small business owners face is how to cope with feeling overwhelmed and stressed with all the priorities they face in their business. Setting clear goals, having great marketing plans and being willing to take decisive action are part of the answer.

But a sneaky reason a lot of folks end up feeling overwhelmed is because they have little or no boundaries.

Boundaries can sound like such a harsh word, as it conjures up an image of guards patrolling the border between two countries. But having wishy-washy, namby-pamby or indistinct boundaries in your professional and personal life can be a big source of distraction and overload.

One of the big reasons boundaries can get blurry is when we let some of our internal gremlins get the better of us. The People Pleaser, who hates conflict or rejections, wants to water down our boundaries so we get fuzzy in our communication. The Spiritual Snacker wants to hedge its bets and keep all options open, so our clarity suffers. So the boundaries we need to keep our Brilliance Backbone strong and aligned with our highest purpose get weakened or forgotten altogether

There are 5 major areas where having better boundaries will translate into better business, impact and results.

In my work with business owners, I have seen that there are 5 major areas where you may be suffering a boundary breach. Take a look to see what areas apply to you and your business.

Client Boundaries

Having authentic and clear communication boundaries with your clients means you are clear on what kind of client you are willing to work with. You’re willing to say a graceful “no” to anyone who is not your ideal client or who is not willing to do what it takes to solve the issues you can help them with. You’re upfront about what they can expect from you as well, so that you are transparent and accountable with them.

Communication Boundaries

When our communication boundaries get weak, we stop speaking up and tolerate having our expectations or standards being eroded – either by others or ourselves. When our communication boundaries are strong and clear, you follow-through on requests in a timely way. You hold your clients, your team and yourself accountable for your actions.

Pricing Boundaries

Issues of self-worth and value get tangled up in our boundaries around pricing our programs and services. Healthy pricing boundaries means holding clear and firm about your pricing. You don’t succumb to requests for different payment terms or discounts.

Support Boundaries

One of the most important support boundaries we all need to have is being clear when we need support from others and being willing to ask for it. When your support boundaries are healthy, you’re able to clearly communicate your expectations so that others know what you need.

Personal Boundaries

A very important and overlooked area of boundaries are the ones you set for yourself. Personal boundaries mean being in integrity and walking your own talk. You don’t let your People Pleaser say “Yes!” to something when you know your plate is already full of other priorities.

Time for a boundary brush-up! Review the major areas where having better boundaries makes for better business. See where you’re in good shape already and where you may be lacking. Set 3 new boundaries for yourself in the areas where you feel you most need them. These could be entirely new boundaries, or you could more clearly and powerfully articulate one you already have that is working well for you that you want to uplevel.

If you prefer to listen to the audio version of this week’s article instead, just click here:

“Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into.”

Wayne Dyer

It’s a New Year, and I’ve talked with so many people who are anticipating massive breakthroughs, new opportunities and simply having their best year yet.

It’s no secret the past few years have been rough for many people, both personally and professionally.  Businesses are struggling.  Millions are out of work.  Marriages are crumbling.  The sentiment of “Out With The Old, In With the New” is stronger than ever before.

As a professional coach, I’m thrilled that so many people are waking up to what they really want and taking responsibility and ownership of their future.

Yet at the same time, I want to make sure you don’t get too overly aggressive about dreaming and planning for the future that it hinders your ability to take concrete steps towards those goals today.

Please understand that when you get so busy looking ahead and creating a mental picture of what you “need to do” and where you “should be,” it’s impossible to have clarity or be at peace within yourself.  If you get too exuberant or obsessed with “should-ing yourself”, those thoughts of excitement and anticipation for the future can quickly turn toxic, as you’ll hear:

“You’ve fallen short.”

“You should have made more progress by now.”

“Maybe you really don’t have what it takes.”

“You’ve been lucky so far. You don’t have the talent or smarts to sustain this long-term.”

“Things aren’t really changing. Maybe it’s not meant to be.”

Success and achievement for the future needs to be anchored in appreciation and clearly knowing our past. Celebrating how far you’ve come is critical to your success. Click here to learn the 3 key questions I encourage my clients to use to help build a solid foundation for future success.

Of course we must have clear goals and dreams for the future.  But equally important to our success is learning how to stay in the present. Celebrate the small victories and learn how to declare in hard times: “I may not be where I NEED to be yet, but thank goodness I’m not where I USED to be!”

Half the battle in reaching your dreams is keeping what I call the “Minimizer Gremlin” in check so that when struggles and setbacks arise (which they will!), you can appreciate how far you’ve come and harvest that wisdom.   While everything may not be tied up in a neat and tidy bow, simply having that awareness and now being in a position to choose to DO something about it is huge progress.

So as you move forward in setting your goals and getting clear about what you want this year, don’t forget to strengthen your celebration muscles along the way.  Here’s a few “conditioning” questions designed to keep your brilliance backbone strong in times of insecurity doubt and fear:

1.  How would I have handled this issue or problem 6 months ago? A year ago? As you answer this question, notice how much you’ve grown and shifted in your ability to handle more complex problems or challenges in your life.

2.  What skills, insight and wisdom have I gained in my journey that I can apply to this situation? Get specific about your new awareness and claim your shifts.

3.  What impact have I had from sharing my skills, services and experience with others? What evidence or feedback do you have that your life or business are making a positive contribution to others? Assure yourself that you are good enough and that even right now, you are making valuable contributions to the world.

© 2012 Carolyn B. Ellis All Rights Reserved

Take time this week to review the past year and make a list of all the accomplishments you’ve had, people you’ve influenced and noteworthy experiences. Take 1 hour to compile a list of everything and don’t edit it based on whether your ego thinks it is “significant” or not. Keep this list handy to review and plug into anytime you feel yourself in doubt, fear or at the mercy of the “Minimizer Gremlin” when rough times arise.

If you prefer to listen to the audio version of this week’s article instead, just click here:

“You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with the best you have to give.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

It’s hard to run a successful business long-term on your own. Savvy and brilliant business owners know that bringing in the talents of other people to support you in areas where you are, let’s say less brilliant, is simply a smart business choice.

While a lot of entrepreneurs in the beginning of the journey bootstrap it by being a lone ranger, that mode of operation can wear you out quickly. It’s important to bring in a team and suppliers who can help you get what you want. It takes a village.

But adding in more people, personalities, priorities and work ethics means the chance for friction, misunderstanding and conflict is certainly there. As the leader of your business, you need to be able to delegate, manage and lead your team.

One issue that can be hard for the heart-centered business owner is having the “Tough Conversation.” Let’s face it, spirit-driven person typically avoid conflict and will often stifle or tolerate things that don’t work instead of butt heads with someone else. We want the world to live in peace, love and harmony – and the idea of someone getting upset with us plays havoc with our internal People Pleaser.

Not being able to give clear feedback, express your dissatisfaction or request changes with authority can cost you big time. For example, the book you wrote took months, but your book cover designer isn’t quite conveying the tone you want. Your web master is taking twice as long to get your new website out, so you’re missing out on reaching your peeps. These are costing you time, energy and money every day you avoid having the Tough Conversation.

Use these 5 easy strategies to get your “mute” button unstuck and have the confidence to have the Tough Conversations you have been avoiding.

1.  Share Your Vision

What is the big picture you are trying to accomplish? Have you shared that fully with the person who’s not being particularly helpful with that? To get people on board and engaged more deeply, they need to be able to see and feel the same vision with you. So don’t just share information. Share the energy and purpose you feel as well.

2. Don’t Assume Anything

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned over my years of working with various kinds of colleagues, assistants and volunteers, is that you can’t assume anything. It’s amazing how one word or idea can be interpreted differently. People don’t have the same priorities you do, or tackle projects in the same way you would. Ask the person to repeat what you said, and then polish away any misunderstandings or fill in the gaps in a graceful way.

3. Be Clear on What You Want

If someone hasn’t been meeting your expectations in some way and needs to get feedback, it’s important for you to be clear on what you want. Don’t get caught up in making stories about why someone fell short. Simply say what you want, when you want it by and whether that is possible for them to achieve. If it is, celebrate that new commitment. If it’s not, brainstorm the possibilities or consider giving the project to someone else.

4. Don’t Take Things Personally

In a Tough Conversation, emotions can get heated. But realize it doesn’t serve you to let your ego get engaged and take things personally. Keep your brilliant business leader hat on and know you deserve to have your co-workers, suppliers or supporters step up for you. If they can’t, the ball is in your court to part ways and find another solution, or else your indecisiveness becomes a part of the problem you’re facing.

5. Stop Procrastinating

Procrastination adds an unnecessary layer of complication to getting resolution in a Tough Conversation. If you’re not happy, and you know it, it’s part of your integrity to at least begin the conversation. Otherwise you end up brewing and stewing in your own mind, which is a waste of the energy and brilliance that could be going into serving people through your business.

© 2012 Carolyn B. Ellis All Rights Reserved

“It’s not what you take but what you leave behind that defines greatness.”

Edward Gardner

I think there’s no such thing as “instant success.”

Long-lasting and enduring success is always the result of conscious, consistent and persistent action and preparation.

Sure sometimes people may choose the right numbers and win the lottery jackpot. But studies show lottery winners often end up back in the same financial situation or even worse just a year or two later. Why? Because they haven’t prepare for and wired themselves for success.

There’s nothing like a New Year to trigger an intense cocktail of fresh optimism and hope, with a dash of overwhelm, fear of failure and confusion about how to make your roadmap to success this year. Having been in the midst of some home renovation work recently, I’ve been noticing some of the important, and sometimes invisible, steps that my contractor is taking to ensure my house ends up strong, beautiful and peaceful.

Whether you’re growing a business, strengthening a relationship, or starting a new project, it might be tempting to go for the quick-fix. But when you take short-cuts, you aren’t building the internal emotional and spiritual stamina to make powerful choices and take decisive action on an ongoing basis. But with these 3 steps to brilliant success, you’ll be assured that you’re setting yourself for success and impact.

Key #1 – Be Prepared

To get a job done right, you need to make sure you’re prepared and have the right tools. In doing my home repairs, I’ve been amazed at all the gizmos, gadgets and tools my contractor has on hand. He’s prepared for the usual repair job, and the quirky oddball attention an older home needs.

Sometimes people stall out because they don’t have the right tools or preparation done in advance. Being prepared for your success means knowing what tools you have at your disposal and knowing where you might have some gaps. It means assessing your situation to know what’s working, what’s not and what your priorities for change are.

Key #2 – Be Patient and Persistent

In fixing up a home that is almost 100 years old, it seems that there is no end to the cracks that need to be filled, caulked or sealed. Some of the walls in my home look like swiss cheese with all the plaster repairs right now. But to get my home back in sparkling condition, the job needs to be done thoroughly and correctly. To fill each crack requires a few coats of plaster, with drying time and sanding in between.  It takes persistence to find all the cracks. It takes patience to prepare the surface for the paint. If these steps are missed, the cracks can reappear or show through the paint job.

Taking your personal or professional life to a new level of success requires both patience and persistence as well. Staying steady in your vision and goals will help you stay on target so your ultimate success doesn’t fall short of the mark.

Key #3 – Be in Integrity

One of the reasons I ended up with my home repair project was because it turns out the roofers who did my house over 15 years ago had no integrity. I learned they did very shoddy work, putting shingling straight onto the bare wood and in some cases even over holes in the aging planks! As the homeowner, I had no idea until water damage started showing up in various rooms. I assumed that they delivered what I paid for.

Being in integrity is a powerful force for aligning your purpose, energy and action. It’s what attracts great people into your life and fills you with a strong internal sense of peace and confidence within yourself.

STEP INTO YOUR BRILLIANCE

Take 15 minutes to journal this week about how prepared you are for success. Do an inventory of the skills, resources, advisors or other tools you already have at your fingertips to help you achieve your success. Make a similar list of resources, information or support you think you might be missing. For example, you might realize you need to research something, or find a mentor or coach to support you, or that you need to review a program you’ve already purchased. Review the tips again and determine one action step you can take right away to help you better prepare for the success that is waiting for you!